How Long ’til I get Better?

Woe, I’ve been feeling goopy all day.  For the past three days, I’ve been semi-unable to continue my cleansing program.  I mean, I’ve stayed on my diet, I just haven’t been sleeping well, and then there’s been a colonix problem.   A week or so ago,  the colonix pills made me nauseous.  That difficulty seems to have gotten worse.  I aint’ blaming the colonix – I’m blaming my ding dang gallbladder.

 Last year, about this time, I was on the doorstep of the hospital for gallbladder tantrums.  I was in constant pain, unable to eat anything at all.  I was fasting on water & apple juice.  I didn’t improve until I did a gallbladder flush – basically ya set yourself up to ‘go’.  This preparation takes about 5 days.  But it worked!  It totally cured my gallbladder problems and I didn’t need to spend $30,000 on stupid surgery.  And I could eat anything again.  Link: How to do a gallbladder flush. That’s just one website, there are hundreds if you do a search.  So now, rather than continuing on the colonix program, I think I’m gonna have to do another flushyland so I can get back to normal.   I’m going to have to complete that flushybiz in order to be able to take my regular supplements again too.  Everything is making me wretchify, lol, I like that word.

Last night, I made one of my favorite treats – No Sugar Pumpkin Pie – using stevia as a sweetener.  It’s totally on the diet.  Just follow the pumpkin pie recipe on the can, and don’t add sugar, I used 7 packets of stevia stuff.  It turns out gloriously if you’ve been off of sugar – it’s like food of the gods.   But, I don’t use any piecrust.. it’s just pumpkin custard really, I just have a rich and indulgent imagination.  Anyway, this was the last straw for the gallbladder camel.  I couldn’t sleep, the cinnamon spices in that stuff has me still groaning in maladjustment. My poor little tummy feels like it’s been in a battle zone and will accept no solace. sadness.

When will I feel better?  I already know the answer.  It’s gonna be about 9 months until I feel like a normal person.  I’m pretty sure that normal people can be defined as those that can shower, get dressed, go to the store, buy groceries, come back home & make dinner – all without needing to rest or take a nap.  I’m past one month now – 8 to go!

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An Amazing Transformation: Detox vs. Diet Psychology

Something truly amazing has happened to me during the past 30 days.  I have no craving for sugar or junk food! none!  When I first starting this program, all of my friends and family were encouraging me with kind words and cheers of support.   The forefront of their encouragement has been: “As long as you can stay off of sugar, you’re sure to succeed.”  The underlying inference is the constant threat of sugar craving.  It’s true for many of us.  Most “diets” fail because sugar cravings and the sense of personal deprivation becomes overwhelming. 

In the past, when I have been on diets to lose weight or improve my health in general, my sugar cravings have been outrageous.  I constantly struggled with a huge sense of self-pity, the seeming loss of all the things that made me “happy”.  In some specific location in my brain, my psyche was telling me that ALL of my happiness was derived from chocolate cake and soda pop.  I couldn’t shake my feeling of tremendous grief over the loss of all the goodness in my life.  I know it sounds ridiculous, but it’s true nonetheless.  It’s amazing to recognize how our cravings can manipulate our brain, re-routing our logic pathways, subverting our impulses, directing us toward failure.  Just how powerful are these yeasts and blood sugar fluctuations? Powerful enough to continually overcome any logic, any commitment, willpower, my dreams, my health.   Time after time, diet after diet failed under my body’s screaming toddler-like tantrum for sugar.  This endless sugar feeding cycle has kept me in a stupor for years upon years.

In the past 30 days, my mind and body have gone through an astounding transformation.  I no longer have even a twinge of sugar craving.  I believe that this is 100% attributable to a change in my psyche.  My brain realizes that I’m not dieting :  I’m detoxing, cleansing, becoming healthy.  The psychology of this process is so interesting.  It’s as if my focus on this treatment program is coming from a completely different place in my brain.  I don’t have any sense of deprivation or denial.  I have no feeling of loss or mourning.  There is no food in my mind (other than lemons, oddly enough) that spells ‘happiness’.   I don’t even think about food much anymore,  now my body responds to the sense of hunger and the need for sustenance. 

I’m absorbed in positive thoughts of improving my condition.  I’m entirely focused on only those foods that afford the best nutrition while killing off the nasties that grow inside me.  It’s a different consciousness altogether, a different synapse pathway,  my logic is finally in control.  My mind now recognizes when it’s being manipulated by my blood sugar, or the yeast crying out for carbs or sugar.  Moreover, I smirk because I know that my diet is killing them off and they’re crying out in pain.  They’re not gonna win this time.

I am so happy to be relieved of that constant heavy burden of cravings.  That sense of “woe is me” has vanished.  Happiness does exist without chocolate cake, dr. pepper and pizza.  I’m filled with anticipation for the time when my days can include rigorous exercise, fishing, metal detecting on the beach and some serious housecleaning 🙂   Those days are coming, I know!  I finally have hope!

 

 

Thanks to: http://www.palmyria.co.uk/art/art.htm for the Dawn photo. All rights reserved.

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