Archive for the ‘Feeling Better’ Category

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CFIDS: Considerations on Living Life Happy

January 29, 2010

It’s been awhile now that I lost my zombie status as a chronic fatigue syndrome girl.   After having discovered the marvelous affects of a NT Factor supplement regimine,  I’ve managed by the grace of God to get a good portion of my life back.  Nothing short of a true miracle in my opinion.  For so many years, I was virtually bedridden, now I’m able to attend church and bible study during the week, as well as venture out to teach people how to use their computer as a part-time side job.   Moreover, these activities have been in addition to accomplishing the daily life tasks of showering, getting dressed, grocery shopping, making dinners, doing dishes, moderate housecleaning – all of which were entirely lost to me as a zombie.

My life isn’t sparkling perfect by any means.  There is always that daily ‘cost factor’ that I still have to take into account.  Any chronic fatigue person knows that if you do a task on any given day, the very next day is dedicated to rest.  I still have that too if I’ve done something big.  And I still can’t shower every day (I can hear you people say “ew!” but hey, it’s reality for CFIDS), I mean why waste that energy on something stupid like smelling wonderful when I can do something more important instead.   There is still always an ‘energy-wallet’ to keep in account.  Normal people know nothing of this, but chronic fatiguees know well that there is only so much daily energy to be had, and once it’s spent – forget it – can’t do another ding dang thing.  

But I’ve finally accomplished enough energy to formulate some real life relationships and then have the energy still to maintain them.  Actual social dates! Outside my house!  Unheard of, in the past many years.   The other thing that was lost to me during the zombie years was the ability to feel –  I had no idea that emotions could suck up all my energy.  Now I can actually feel emotions of happiness, having fun, and unfortunately being sad or upset.   Huge energy expense there, and if I get too happy or too upset, just feeling emotion zaps my wallet completely.  When I was a zombie, there wasn’t enough energy to feel anything at all.

Here’s the kicker – I’ve become so much closer to normal that I don’t even take NT Factor anymore.  Haven’t taken any for months, and yet the results seem permanent from having taken the supplements for about a year’s time.  Amazing.   I’m no where near normal, as I keep saying, but I’m so very thankful that the improvements that I’ve made seem permanent.  The clinical studies on NT Factor show only a portion of improvement for CFIDS patients – in other words, a cure wasn’t found.  I still struggle, still can’t shop like ladies do, still can’t stand and talk, but I have a new life that I’m living with “happy” in the title.

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Where I’ve been, where I’m going….

July 11, 2009

I’ve been travelling through some astounding chronic fatigue days of late. I’m feeling better still. I remember those days of pouring myself into the closest chair, not being able to get a drink from the fridge, showering only when it was absolutely necessary and dreading that thought. I’ve come so far and now I’m going further. I’ve had some recent and confusing developments in terms of some new vitality – two things happened and I don’t know which one of them is the reason for my newfound vigor.

Two weeks ago, I stopped for coffee at the local gas station. You know the coffee (sucks) and you know the kind of cup (paper with the ridiculously stupid paper sleeve), as I tried to get out of my car, I grabbed the coffee cup from near the top – too freaking HOT! and while trying to adjust the cup in my hand, I promptly spilled the steaming hot coffee all over my left hand. It turned out to be a 2nd degree burn – nasty white seared skin that blistered horribley and hurt like a screaming mimi for more than a week. Strangely, on this same day, I developed a UTI (urinary tract infection) – I get these fairly frequently, probably due to an overgrowth of candida, but who knows. Anyway, I take D-Mannose to cure these when I get them – it works pretty well, I just drink 1/2 teaspoon in water about every four hours. (word to the wise here, if you’re experiencing a UTI with fever, chills, outrageous frequency, urgency and pain – quit messing around and get yourself to the doctor today!)

d-mannoseD-Mannose is a common treatment for those seeking a non-antibiotic answer for urinary symptoms of frequency, urgency, minor pain. D-Mannose is a natural sugar that your body produces and it can be purchased at your healthfood store in powder or gel-pill form (it’s cheaper online though). Related article on D-Mannose: http://www.tahoma-clinic.com/mannose.shtml

So all that week, I was supplementing with d-mannose and at the same time nursing my nasty burn. By Friday of that week, I had huge huge huge energy! Me! I went swimming at two different public pools (if you’ve had cfs at all, you know ding dang well that even wriggling into your suit is out of the question, let alone swimming some laps, let alone all the showering!) By the following monday, I was at the local track, *Running* UP the aluminum stadium steps over & over again – I probably ran up these steps 8 times & back down again – my big fat heart raging, heavy breathing and me sitting on the top after each course, smiling like a little ninny 🙂

So which of those two happenings was the one that increased my energy by such proportions? It’s well known that your body goes into overdrive when you experience a severe burn – waking up all kinds of cellular activity. Or, is it some currently unknown property of the D-Mannose ? I dunno! But the D-mannose is cheap enough for me to continue that regimine – $15 for about 10 days worth. So I’m gonna continue that treatment before I whip out my curling iron and smack my upper arm with another nasty sear on my flesh. I’ll let ya know how it goes…

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Summer Movie Toys: Ice Age 3, Transformers 2 Revenge are getting me In the Groove

June 18, 2009

IceAge3I’ve been working on this summer’s blockbuster kids movies and their related toy websites lately. Ice Age 3 and Transformers 2 Revenge of the Fallen and all their tons of toys have given me great inspiration in the midst of my foibles. I find kids movie toys to be the key to what vigor I have, it’s fun to discover all the dinosaurs and blasters and imagine myself a kid again. Ice Age 3 is simply a riot of goofy scenes and hilarious one-liners and Transformers Revenge of the Fallen proves to offer enough smashing to resolve any level of frustration.

It’s more than just frivolity – we all need to feel productive, and given my circumstances these toy pages are my best effort at preventing the chronic fatigue doldrums from taking hold. To be certain, there are much better schemes for making money at home, but in contrast to that thought – ya gotta do what you love, don’t ya? It would be easy to let the summer drift away amid Oprah shows and Jeopardy, but somewhere I hear my mom’s voice calling out that I need to strive, to move forward, to pursue productivity despite my limitations. More simply put, it’s fun to find fun in fun, so I’ll keep working on it.


Visit my latest toy pages: Ice Age 3 Dawn of the Dinosaurs , Terminator Salvation Toys and Transformers Revenge of the Fallen Toys

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Still Feeling Froggy – Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, CFIDS

June 20, 2008

In my continual wonderment at how much my Chronic Fatigue Syndrome has improved, I’m also just as perplexed at my own ever-present toxicity. I still feel foggy, which I call froggy (cuz I’m insane) and I know it’s because I’m no where near healthy. The pursuit of health seems so complicated by so many factors and yet at the same time, the answer seems universal to nearly any health issue.

My complications include: sugar addiction, wavering hormonal flux, reliance on caffeine, the energy that’s required to create natural well-balanced meals on a daily basis.

The Universal Health Answer: Have ya ever noticed that the natural response to nearly any health difficulty on earth is the same? The Dr. Dean Ornish Heart Health Diet, Cancer Recovery Diet, Detox Diet, Chronic Fatigue Diet, Losing Weight Diet, Yeast Ridding Candida Diet, Athletic Diet – Simplified: Eat mostly fresh veggies – both raw and cooked, and some fruit. Brilliant!

Gee that sounds so easy – Why is it so difficult? I know from my own experience that sugar is one serious evil-doer, complicating my blood sugar levels, hampering my efforts through continual cravings and overwhelming any rationale to eat my veggies. Supposing I’ve gone off sugar for three days to overcome that monkey on my back, I still become weighted down by an inexhaustible yearning for starchy carbs. I think that’s just my blood sugar screaming out for more, more, more. Wouldn’t it be great if I could tell my blood sugar to just shut up already?

The Pursuit of Happiness: My goals never change – I’d like to be able to work, play, and think like a normal human being! To quote Scripture for a second here: “As a man thinks, So Is He” – This is the first key to success: Point your mind in the right direction, and your body will follow. In order to achieve my goals of feeling better, acting like a normal person, I need to focus my thoughts on the detox veggie diet and stop revelling in fantasies about chocolate cake and brownies.

In this vain, it’s always most helpful for me to view sugary and starchy foods as “poisons” to my goal, and the veggies as “cleansers”. It’s not too extreme to call the cakes & candies poison – they’re literally robbing me, and have robbed me of my life for 17 years. So sad to even consider the complete effect of sugar addiction in one glance like that. I’ve also proven to myself that the cleansing effect of the natural vegetable diet is dramatic and enervating. And it’s always my thoughts that create the motivations to change or languish, resulting in good or bad behavior. I feel like Winnie the Pooh: “Think, Think, Think”….

Mitochondrial and Other Supplements: Imagining that I’ve managed to maintain a clean veggie oriented diet and that my blood sugar levels aren’t making me a slave to their whims, I know that nutritional supplementation is essential to create my health. I feel like I owe all of my CFS improvement to NT Factor – Lipid Replacement Therapy. Chronic Fatigue Syndrome Research has shown damage to the Mitochondrial Function of the cell, the area responsible for fueling energy in the body. While the phosphoglycolipids in NT Factor don’t repair the mitochondria directly, they do provide the pre-cursors for ATP production. This same treatment protocol has been adopted for fatigue among cancer patients as well with amazing results. D-Ribose helps with the fibromyalgia pain of daily living too, and although this has never been my primary complaint, I know it’s a major factor in many CFIDS sufferers.

Continual Health Resolve: Here I am again, still pressing on toward winning this life long battle. “Keep going Carrie, You Can Make It! – Think These Thoughts!”

1. Stay away from Sugar and Starch. They’re the nasty creeps causing your downfall!
2. Eat 5 Mighty cups of Veggies per day. (Other people can eat fruit too, I can’t – blood sugar.)
3. Maintain a constant influx of Supplements. This is where your energy is coming from, you ninny.
4. Drink 64oz. of water daily, before 8pm – I hate peeing all night.
5. Walk 3 times a week for 20 minutes – even if it kills ya.
6. Control Your Thought Life – stop thinking about Aunt Grace’s Brownies, think about swimming instead!
7. Go on a juice fast, gallbladder flush, or colonix cleanse again. I promise you’ll feel better if you do!

Ok, I’m done lecturing myself…. I’m striving to do better… I gotta get serious to get my total life back – I believe it’s truly possible now!


Visit my latest toy pages: Ice Age 3 Dawn of the Dinosaurs , Terminator Salvation Toys and Transformers Revenge of the Fallen Toys


Notes: Thanks to Marilyn’s Toy Pages for that amazing frog cut out picture. Also, “feeling froggy” in the urban dictionary actually refers to feeling lively or upbeat. If you’d care to know how one lovely girl that has lost her job due to CFS earns a seriously tiny income, you’re welcome to visit my Wall-E Toys. Thanks!

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CFS: I’m Living a New Life

June 8, 2008

Quite honestly, I never thought that I could get this far. I barely even think of my chronic fatigue as a constant impediment to my daily living tasks. I am highly aware that my activities have to be limited or there will indeed be hell to pay, but on the other hand, my mind is no longer constrained by the constant fear of collapsing someplace or completely running out of steam when doing a specific task.

Earlier in my bloggyland I had mentioned my upcoming trip to Florida – It’s in the past now and I had such a great great time with my family. I went swimming every day! ME!!! (Good Lord, if you people knew me before, in the midst of my mollasses-ness (mollasiocity, mollastication?) you’d know how unbelievable that is…)

One of my big turning points was re-reading the label on the NT Factor – it now states: “For Severe Fatigue, increase to 9 tablets per day”… and I did – ANYTHING to feel mo’ better… This stuff totally works… I want to reiterate again, I’m not cured… I couldn’t work an 8 hour day for the life of me – if you suffer from CFS, you know well that getting up, showered, dressed is half of that battle… but lately, I’m thinking I could indeed work 20 hours per week. Yes, I really just said that… 

Anyway, NT Factor is a dietary supplement cooked up by clinical researchers in their quest to determine just what is causing Chronic Fatique Syndrome – aside from initial indications that it’s caused by a virus (epstein-barr, etc.).   NT Factor is a blend of probiotics and phosphoglypolipids that move into the cell wall and boost the mitochondrial function of creating ATP for your body.  That’s pretty heavy talk for some – translation:  for CFS sufferers, your cells are actually damaged – yup every ding dang one of them!  This is a supplement that supports energy production – getting your cells back to functioning and creating energy the way that they’re supposed to. 

So lately, I take 9 pills, and I’m still kinda flakey and dont’ take them every day.  One of my most serious limitations is that I still can’t handle stress or strong emotions.  Recently, a very very dear friend of mine passed away, and even though I could have gotten dressed and physically attended his services, the emotional strain of the circumstances left me completely weak.  I simply was unable to interact socially.  Emotions can be unbearable for me, still causing me to need to lay down.  I still have difficulty on the phone too.

But, on the good side: I walk now without thinking of sitting down… I do things… I proved my swimming longevity in Florida (I aint’ back to doin laps again, but I did wrangle, wriggle and wiggle into that suit and then freely frolic!). Yesterday I did housecleaning, including a serious scrub of da tub – my haunches hurt today, but I ain’t dead. Today I worked on my Kung Fu Panda Toys page, cleaned the kitchen (lordy what a mess!), then went to a movie with my brother, then went shopping for photo frames for my other brother’s handsome pic – that’s him up there – the reason for the Florida trip, Then I went to the grocery store, and I’m just now about to take a shower. 

My increased energy, sense of well being has decreased my bloggyrhythms (blog posts for the uninitiate), and also unfortunately has decreased my maniacal attention to my diet – now I feel better enough not to have to worry about every single morsel placed in my little mouth. I know I could even be better still, with greater adherence to my mostly veggie diet protocol.  It’s just that NT Factor totally totally works.  No Jokes.


Come See My Newest Wonders: Wall-E-Toys and Tiki Party Planning Guide (gotta do somefin to make some money – righteo captain?)

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CFS: My New Fear

April 10, 2008

I’m in the midst of my carefully devised plan to overcome Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.  I’ve changed my diet, found amazingly effective supplements in the form of NT Factor and D-Ribose, and I’ve garnered some success.  But a new fear is overtaking me lately.  The clinical studies involved with these ‘new found’ supplements reflect only a 40-45% improvement of CFS symptoms.  And this is where I am right now.  Does this mean that where I am is as good as it’s going to get?   Have I reached the pinnacle of improvement?

I no longer pour myself into the couch after walking just a few steps into the livingroom,  I can walk and do some normal life endeavors or attend an event without the need to collapse, but is this all there is?   I don’t know the answer….  I have to keep working, keep detoxing, keep hoping, keep praying…


Visit Wall*E Toys My newest squidooey venture.

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CFS: Thankful for the Tiniest Things

April 8, 2008

My poor hurting brother was in the hospital today…  He was set for an angiogram, he’s been having heart pain again.  During his angiogram, they decided to go ahead and give him a new shunt too.  (Is it a shunt, a stent?  Stint stent stunt, shint shent shunt… I forget)   Anway, I was his dutiful companion, aid, and chauffeur…   I managed to get up early for the 8am appointment just fine, as always this meant no real sleep, but I felt ok – even without my morning boost of happy coffee.

But here’s the revelation of improvement in the tiniest of things –  I parked in a parking garage and had to walk.  Those of you with CFS know what I’m talking about… the looming, sweating, palpating fear: “Walk exactly how far??? Ramps?? Hills? Stairs??”  These thoughts never even occurred to me!  That’s how amazing this experience was.   I remember having been to this hospital before (and I wasn’t a patient) and gauging every painful aching step, wondering how soon I would be able to sit, wondering if I could even make it down the hallway, and my previous visits hadn’t included any parking ramps.

Today I managed going back to my car three times, traversing these parking ramps that other ‘normal’ people wouldn’t even notice, walking down the hallways without even a thought of sitting down to rest.  There, in my mind, I’ve exactly quantified my 40% improvement.

Make no mistake though, after transporting him, sitting in the hospital room during his procedure, conversing with the nursing staff, making him comfortable when he came back from his surgery and then transporting him home, a total of 8.5 hours – I’m deadwater exhausted: finished, zombied, cattywhompus brained. 

So Chronic Fatigue spoke twice to me today –  I am better than I had ever hoped even in the tiniest of realms, and yet still stuck in the muddy mire of always being on the precipice of exhaustion.

 Surgeons Search The Internet


Visit Kung Fu Panda Toys and Wall-E Toys.