Where I’ve been, where I’m going….

I’ve been travelling through some astounding chronic fatigue days of late. I’m feeling better still. I remember those days of pouring myself into the closest chair, not being able to get a drink from the fridge, showering only when it was absolutely necessary and dreading that thought. I’ve come so far and now I’m going further. I’ve had some recent and confusing developments in terms of some new vitality – two things happened and I don’t know which one of them is the reason for my newfound vigor.

Two weeks ago, I stopped for coffee at the local gas station. You know the coffee (sucks) and you know the kind of cup (paper with the ridiculously stupid paper sleeve), as I tried to get out of my car, I grabbed the coffee cup from near the top – too freaking HOT! and while trying to adjust the cup in my hand, I promptly spilled the steaming hot coffee all over my left hand. It turned out to be a 2nd degree burn – nasty white seared skin that blistered horribley and hurt like a screaming mimi for more than a week. Strangely, on this same day, I developed a UTI (urinary tract infection) – I get these fairly frequently, probably due to an overgrowth of candida, but who knows. Anyway, I take D-Mannose to cure these when I get them – it works pretty well, I just drink 1/2 teaspoon in water about every four hours. (word to the wise here, if you’re experiencing a UTI with fever, chills, outrageous frequency, urgency and pain – quit messing around and get yourself to the doctor today!)

D-Mannose is a common treatment for those seeking a non-antibiotic answer for urinary symptoms of frequency, urgency, minor pain. D-Mannose is a natural sugar that your body produces and it can be purchased at your healthfood store in powder or gel-pill form (it’s cheaper online though). Related article on D-Mannose: http://www.tahoma-clinic.com/mannose.shtml

So all that week, I was supplementing with d-mannose and at the same time nursing my nasty burn. By Friday of that week, I had huge huge huge energy! Me! I went swimming at two different public pools (if you’ve had cfs at all, you know ding dang well that even wriggling into your suit is out of the question, let alone swimming some laps, let alone all the showering!) By the following monday, I was at the local track, *Running* UP the aluminum stadium steps over & over again – I probably ran up these steps 8 times & back down again – my big fat heart raging, heavy breathing and me sitting on the top after each course, smiling like a little ninny

So which of those two happenings was the one that increased my energy by such proportions? It’s well known that your body goes into overdrive when you experience a severe burn – waking up all kinds of cellular activity. Or, is it some currently unknown property of the D-Mannose ? I dunno! But the D-mannose is cheap enough for me to continue that regimine – $15 for about 10 days worth. So I’m gonna continue that treatment before I whip out my curling iron and smack my upper arm with another nasty sear on my flesh. I’ll let ya know how it goes…

Chronic Fatigue versus Christmas: I’m Dreaming, I know…

A heartwarming fire in the fireplace, even a fake one would do. The scent of fresh pine boughs conjuring up memories of Christmas Past, coupled with the blossoms of sugar cookies in the oven that I’ll soon fashion with sparkling sugar flakes. Sharing a cup of Christmas Cheer while gazing at a brightly glowing tree all ashimmer with tinsel and colored lights. It’s a wonderful dream, these tangible elements of a romantic Yuletide, and one that most of my friends and family are able to create. But Chronic Fatigue and Christmas don’t mix and for me at least, even to admit that to my family and friends, is wholly embarrassing.

There’s no decorating: I’d love to bring my house into the land of the living with vibrant displays of ornaments, garlands and snowy character scenes. But I’m not even capable of bringing down the Christmas box from the top shelf in the closet. Then to imagine creating bits of flair around my livingroom sounds like it’s beyond anyone’s energy reserves. Nor can I imagine myself decorating a pretty tree (how would that get into my house?). That activity represents a long term standing session coupled with daunting strains of bending, reaching, squirming. I suppose I could manifest the energy, but for me as always, there is an energy cost analysis of where to best spend my daily outlay.

Does my family understand? No, I’m sure they think that I’m lazy, or lack Christmas Spirit, or that I’m too self absorbed. I’m so fortunate that my husband doesn’t care and doesn’t even mention it. Then too, I can well imagine that this is a source of difficulty for families everywhere, in houses where the would-be decorator suffers from CFS.

There’s no Shopping: I imagine wrangling with coats, mittens and then mangling through slippery traffic in the winter wonderland. Bustling then through parking lots, shops, and cashier queues to gleefully find the perfect representation of my love to offer. This too is a complete impossibility. If I love you truly, you’re all getting the same imported cookies that are the one undiscovered secret of my local grocery. I’m so happy to be able to simply visit my grocer and manage that task without contemplating a mobile grocery cart. If I love you more than truly, I’ll be able to burn a CD of my favorite music for you, because here at my computer, I can sit and create with ease. If I hadn’t lost my job, I would certainly take advantage of shopping online. But as everyone can acknowledge, lately this is much too weighty on the pocketbook.

There’s no wrapping: To any normal person, doesn’t this sound like the most simple of tasks? For the CFS person, this little ditty can become a rigorous onslaught of terror. Where do the pretty papers, ribbons and bows come from? Where on earth did those sticker gift tags run off to? I suppose it can be managed, but when combined with the other stresses of the season and the dedication of time and attention to the matter, this task represents yet another CFS hill to climb. If I put a sticky bow on your untagged box of cookies, will you love me just the same?

Feast without Expectation: I will do my very best to create the perfect Christmas Dinner. Fortunately in my house that allows for a roast chicken rather than turkey. My energy does afford the ability to stock the household with festive feastings and I’m quite able to manage cooking a lovely glazed spread of delights. But for many I know, this too is another holiday expression of love that falls to the wayside. At the very least, this is one area where local restaurants or caterers can assist those that are still struggling.

Dreaming of a Splendid White Christmas: As one given to outrageous fantasy, I dream of days of shooshing on the ski slopes of Telluride and then exchanging romantic gifts with hubby in our suite during our fabulous red-cheeked Colorado Christmas. Or I still envision sculpting christmas bears and bunnies on our front lawn and stringing them up with lights for nighttime neighborhood display. My mind still yearns to be dressed to the hilt in red velvet or satin and share drinks and flirtations at hubby’s company christmas party. All in a dream, my friend.

The Spirit of Christmas Still Lives: Your chronic fatigued spouse, mom or dad, family or friend still loves you just the same. Even if we fail to meet your holiday expectations, even if we fail miserably in expressing our love and heartfelt Christmas greetings, even if we’re entirely incapable of sharing in the fun, please know that we want to show our love and we’re all trying the very best that we can.

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Visit my latest toy pages: Ice Age 3 Dawn of the Dinosaurs , Terminator Salvation Toys and Transformers Revenge of the Fallen Toys

Still Feeling Froggy – Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, CFIDS

In my continual wonderment at how much my Chronic Fatigue Syndrome has improved, I’m also just as perplexed at my own ever-present toxicity. I still feel foggy, which I call froggy (cuz I’m insane) and I know it’s because I’m no where near healthy. The pursuit of health seems so complicated by so many factors and yet at the same time, the answer seems universal to nearly any health issue.

My complications include: sugar addiction, wavering hormonal flux, reliance on caffeine, the energy that’s required to create natural well-balanced meals on a daily basis.

The Universal Health Answer: Have ya ever noticed that the natural response to nearly any health difficulty on earth is the same? The Dr. Dean Ornish Heart Health Diet, Cancer Recovery Diet, Detox Diet, Chronic Fatigue Diet, Losing Weight Diet, Yeast Ridding Candida Diet, Athletic Diet – Simplified: Eat mostly fresh veggies – both raw and cooked, and some fruit. Brilliant!

Gee that sounds so easy – Why is it so difficult? I know from my own experience that sugar is one serious evil-doer, complicating my blood sugar levels, hampering my efforts through continual cravings and overwhelming any rationale to eat my veggies. Supposing I’ve gone off sugar for three days to overcome that monkey on my back, I still become weighted down by an inexhaustible yearning for starchy carbs. I think that’s just my blood sugar screaming out for more, more, more. Wouldn’t it be great if I could tell my blood sugar to just shut up already?

The Pursuit of Happiness: My goals never change – I’d like to be able to work, play, and think like a normal human being! To quote Scripture for a second here: “As a man thinks, So Is He” – This is the first key to success: Point your mind in the right direction, and your body will follow. In order to achieve my goals of feeling better, acting like a normal person, I need to focus my thoughts on the detox veggie diet and stop revelling in fantasies about chocolate cake and brownies.

In this vain, it’s always most helpful for me to view sugary and starchy foods as “poisons” to my goal, and the veggies as “cleansers”. It’s not too extreme to call the cakes & candies poison – they’re literally robbing me, and have robbed me of my life for 17 years. So sad to even consider the complete effect of sugar addiction in one glance like that. I’ve also proven to myself that the cleansing effect of the natural vegetable diet is dramatic and enervating. And it’s always my thoughts that create the motivations to change or languish, resulting in good or bad behavior. I feel like Winnie the Pooh: “Think, Think, Think”….

Mitochondrial and Other Supplements: Imagining that I’ve managed to maintain a clean veggie oriented diet and that my blood sugar levels aren’t making me a slave to their whims, I know that nutritional supplementation is essential to create my health. I feel like I owe all of my CFS improvement to NT Factor – Lipid Replacement Therapy. Chronic Fatigue Syndrome Research has shown damage to the Mitochondrial Function of the cell, the area responsible for fueling energy in the body. While the phosphoglycolipids in NT Factor don’t repair the mitochondria directly, they do provide the pre-cursors for ATP production. This same treatment protocol has been adopted for fatigue among cancer patients as well with amazing results. D-Ribose helps with the fibromyalgia pain of daily living too, and although this has never been my primary complaint, I know it’s a major factor in many CFIDS sufferers.

Continual Health Resolve: Here I am again, still pressing on toward winning this life long battle. “Keep going Carrie, You Can Make It! – Think These Thoughts!”

1. Stay away from Sugar and Starch. They’re the nasty creeps causing your downfall!
2. Eat 5 Mighty cups of Veggies per day. (Other people can eat fruit too, I can’t – blood sugar.)
3. Maintain a constant influx of Supplements. This is where your energy is coming from, you ninny.
4. Drink 64oz. of water daily, before 8pm – I hate peeing all night.
5. Walk 3 times a week for 20 minutes – even if it kills ya.
6. Control Your Thought Life – stop thinking about Aunt Grace’s Brownies, think about swimming instead!
7. Go on a juice fast, gallbladder flush, or colonix cleanse again. I promise you’ll feel better if you do!

Ok, I’m done lecturing myself…. I’m striving to do better… I gotta get serious to get my total life back – I believe it’s truly possible now!

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Visit my latest toy pages: Ice Age 3 Dawn of the Dinosaurs , Terminator Salvation Toys and Transformers Revenge of the Fallen Toys

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Notes: Thanks to Marilyn’s Toy Pages for that amazing frog cut out picture. Also, “feeling froggy” in the urban dictionary actually refers to feeling lively or upbeat. If you’d care to know how one lovely girl that has lost her job due to CFS earns a seriously tiny income, you’re welcome to visit my Wall-E Toys. Thanks!

CFS: I’m Living a New Life

Quite honestly, I never thought that I could get this far. I barely even think of my chronic fatigue as a constant impediment to my daily living tasks. I am highly aware that my activities have to be limited or there will indeed be hell to pay, but on the other hand, my mind is no longer constrained by the constant fear of collapsing someplace or completely running out of steam when doing a specific task.

Earlier in my bloggyland I had mentioned my upcoming trip to Florida – It’s in the past now and I had such a great great time with my family. I went swimming every day! ME!!! (Good Lord, if you people knew me before, in the midst of my mollasses-ness (mollasiocity, mollastication?) you’d know how unbelievable that is…)

One of my big turning points was re-reading the label on the NT Factor – it now states: “For Severe Fatigue, increase to 9 tablets per day”… and I did – ANYTHING to feel mo’ better… This stuff totally works… I want to reiterate again, I’m not cured… I couldn’t work an 8 hour day for the life of me – if you suffer from CFS, you know well that getting up, showered, dressed is half of that battle… but lately, I’m thinking I could indeed work 20 hours per week. Yes, I really just said that… 

Anyway, NT Factor is a dietary supplement cooked up by clinical researchers in their quest to determine just what is causing Chronic Fatique Syndrome – aside from initial indications that it’s caused by a virus (epstein-barr, etc.).   NT Factor is a blend of probiotics and phosphoglypolipids that move into the cell wall and boost the mitochondrial function of creating ATP for your body.  That’s pretty heavy talk for some – translation:  for CFS sufferers, your cells are actually damaged – yup every ding dang one of them!  This is a supplement that supports energy production – getting your cells back to functioning and creating energy the way that they’re supposed to. 

So lately, I take 9 pills, and I’m still kinda flakey and dont’ take them every day.  One of my most serious limitations is that I still can’t handle stress or strong emotions.  Recently, a very very dear friend of mine passed away, and even though I could have gotten dressed and physically attended his services, the emotional strain of the circumstances left me completely weak.  I simply was unable to interact socially.  Emotions can be unbearable for me, still causing me to need to lay down.  I still have difficulty on the phone too.

But, on the good side: I walk now without thinking of sitting down… I do things… I proved my swimming longevity in Florida (I aint’ back to doin laps again, but I did wrangle, wriggle and wiggle into that suit and then freely frolic!). Yesterday I did housecleaning, including a serious scrub of da tub - my haunches hurt today, but I ain’t dead. Today I worked on my Kung Fu Panda Toys page, cleaned the kitchen (lordy what a mess!), then went to a movie with my brother, then went shopping for photo frames for my other brother’s handsome pic – that’s him up there – the reason for the Florida trip, Then I went to the grocery store, and I’m just now about to take a shower. 

My increased energy, sense of well being has decreased my bloggyrhythms (blog posts for the uninitiate), and also unfortunately has decreased my maniacal attention to my diet – now I feel better enough not to have to worry about every single morsel placed in my little mouth. I know I could even be better still, with greater adherence to my mostly veggie diet protocol.  It’s just that NT Factor totally totally works.  No Jokes.

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Come See My Newest Wonders: Wall-E-Toys and Tiki Party Planning Guide (gotta do somefin to make some money – righteo captain?)

CFS: My New Fear

I’m in the midst of my carefully devised plan to overcome Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.  I’ve changed my diet, found amazingly effective supplements in the form of NT Factor and D-Ribose, and I’ve garnered some success.  But a new fear is overtaking me lately.  The clinical studies involved with these ‘new found’ supplements reflect only a 40-45% improvement of CFS symptoms.  And this is where I am right now.  Does this mean that where I am is as good as it’s going to get?   Have I reached the pinnacle of improvement?

I no longer pour myself into the couch after walking just a few steps into the livingroom,  I can walk and do some normal life endeavors or attend an event without the need to collapse, but is this all there is?   I don’t know the answer….  I have to keep working, keep detoxing, keep hoping, keep praying…

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Visit Wall*E Toys My newest squidooey venture.

CFS: Thankful for the Tiniest Things

My poor hurting brother was in the hospital today…  He was set for an angiogram, he’s been having heart pain again.  During his angiogram, they decided to go ahead and give him a new shunt too.  (Is it a shunt, a stent?  Stint stent stunt, shint shent shunt… I forget)   Anway, I was his dutiful companion, aid, and chauffeur…   I managed to get up early for the 8am appointment just fine, as always this meant no real sleep, but I felt ok – even without my morning boost of happy coffee.

But here’s the revelation of improvement in the tiniest of things -  I parked in a parking garage and had to walk.  Those of you with CFS know what I’m talking about… the looming, sweating, palpating fear: “Walk exactly how far??? Ramps?? Hills? Stairs??”  These thoughts never even occurred to me!  That’s how amazing this experience was.   I remember having been to this hospital before (and I wasn’t a patient) and gauging every painful aching step, wondering how soon I would be able to sit, wondering if I could even make it down the hallway, and my previous visits hadn’t included any parking ramps.

Today I managed going back to my car three times, traversing these parking ramps that other ‘normal’ people wouldn’t even notice, walking down the hallways without even a thought of sitting down to rest.  There, in my mind, I’ve exactly quantified my 40% improvement.

Make no mistake though, after transporting him, sitting in the hospital room during his procedure, conversing with the nursing staff, making him comfortable when he came back from his surgery and then transporting him home, a total of 8.5 hours - I’m deadwater exhausted: finished, zombied, cattywhompus brained. 

So Chronic Fatigue spoke twice to me today -  I am better than I had ever hoped even in the tiniest of realms, and yet still stuck in the muddy mire of always being on the precipice of exhaustion.

 

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Visit Kung Fu Panda Toys and Wall-E Toys.

Chronic Fatigue Syndrome – You’re Not Alone

 

I’m living proof that your CFS  Chronic Fatigue Syndrome can improve!  How did I get here after suffering for so very long?  In this article I’ll show you briefly where I’ve been and how I’ve improved to the point of being able to get dressed and being able exercize and live again.   First and foremost, it’s important to realize that even though you probably can’t get out of your house – you’re not alone.

You’re not alone in not being mobile or active, and you’re also not alone when you’re searching for advice, research and community.  Having Chronic Fatigue Syndrome can be devastating to your life and emotional health; we all need to take advantage of the resources at our fingertips.  The Chronic Fatigue Treatments Forum is one of the sites that I’ve used for outstanding and varied treatment information as well as a community of common sufferers that offer the support you’re looking for.

This CFS forum details several Chronic Fatigue Protocols: Amy Yasko, Garth Nicholson, Marshall Protocol, the leaders in cfs research, and more importantly proven results.   In addition, Jacob Teitelbaum’s clinical trials are covered in another area , which features a discussion on D-Ribose, a supplement that I can personally attest has done absolute wonders for my fibromyalgia pain as I’ve discussed previously in my blog.

In September of 2007, I was completely unable to get dressed or go out.  On this particular day – Labor Day Weekend, I had asked hubby to set aside time for me so that I could do “whatever I wanted”.  This meant dinner and a movie.  But I couldn’t even brush my hair or teeth on that day, let alone go out. I decided that was the absolute limit of the depths of my illness – I just wasn’t going to stand for it anymore.  (I use the word ’stand’ as a pun - Orthostatic intolerance, OI, or the inability to stand for any length of time is the primary symptom of CFS.)

Since many of my difficulties in life can be attributed to medications that I’ve received in the past, I decided to go on an all natural treatment protocol.  Two supplements NT Factor and D-Ribose have helped me to the point of being able to get dressed, exercise, do the dishes, get groceries And make dinner all in the same day.  Amazing!  NT Factor has helped with creating energy, D-Ribose has helped me with the overwhelming pain of daily living. 

Supplements aren’t the only answer though.  I’ve carefully researched the effects of diet and digestion on CFS and have found that I’ll be on my clean diet program for many months, if not years to come.   I simplify this diet into three words on another blog post: water, meat, veggies.  Other people discuss their diet and supplement results on the CFS Forum too.  All kinds of helpful info. 

My most sincere desire is that for anyone with CFS, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Fibromyalgia to realize that they’re not alone -  You CAN feel better,  there IS hope,  the research is showing results, you can do it without spending a million dollars on doctors or drugs, and the Community is there for you.

CFS is better – I took a walk for fun!

Earlier this week, we had an icestorm.  It wasn’t devastating like some places in the u.s., just a coating of ice that made travelling difficult until it melted.  I had to go to the post office, about 5 blocks from my home – the dilemna: chip out my car from the ice and drive the 5 blocks, or walk on the salted streets?   I measured the energy outlay in my mind & chose the walk over the chipping.  It was a sunny morning, all of the ice was glittering and shimmering like rainbow white light.

If you’re reading this and you’re not a chronic fatigue sufferer, you probably can’t relate to this post.  But if you are a person with cfs – you know exactly what I’m talking about.  Taking the energy to walk 10 blocks total may mean the end to any other accomplishment I had in mind for the day, even though this activity would only take me about 25 minutes to complete, there was the possibility it might make me spent.  But I felt pretty good, and I was easily inspired by the sparkle glow.

I went to the post office with ease, despite the patches of deadly ice.  I was marvelling at the icedripped trees, the catch of rainbow light refracted in tiny prisms on the branches.  Sometimes nature can just be glorious.  The most amazing thing was, that after I arrived home, without sitting down -  I grabbed my camera and headed back out again!  I had to capture the feeling of the morning.  Of course my photos won’t do near justice to the magic of clear icelight, but  I have proof that I acted like a normal person for about 20 minutes of time. 

I did something just for fun!

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Come Visit My Newest! Wall-E Toys.

Moving into TwentyFive Percent Better with Chronic Fatigue

I started this Chronic Fatigue journey in September.  After 17 years of complete debilitation, suffering and lack of any zeal for life, I am awakening, enlivening, becoming whole.  I’m nearly in tears to think where I’ve come from and now where I stand, yes, stand! 

It was about a month ago that I began to see some real improvement in my CFS symptoms, I noticed I actually ‘wanted’ to do the dishes and attend to daily living matters.  Prior to this, everything – every single tiny motion was a forced struggle.  Simple things that normal people do, like brushing my hair or teeth, were a monumental task that required a pep-talk and dredging for inner motivation to accomplish.  I’m now proud to admit that wearing underwear, brushing my hair and teeth, showering are just a daily part of living – no pep talk required!

I’m no energy whirlwind by any means.  I still tire easily,  I can’t stand for more than 10 minutes.  But I’m coming from a place where I couldn’t stand on my feet at all.  There are things about having chronic fatigue syndrome that I didn’t even know I was missing.  Let me explain further.  I didn’t realize that my capacity for any emotional depth, perception, experience was entirely lacking.  All of a sudden, I can Feel!  When this first started happening, I thought it was my hormones going crazy or something, but then I realized, it’s emotional energy that I’ve found.  Amazing.  Who would have ever thought that being happy or sad or pissed off was tied to physiology? 

In this blog, I’ve often said that I’m filled with hope – now I’m filled with expectation.  I feel like I’m among the living once again.  I look forward to experiences, activities, adventures.  Now I am certain I can recover and regain most of what has been out of reach for so many years.  Thank you Chronic Fatigue Scientist and Researcher Guys!

For those of you looking to recover from this nastyass illness, these are the things that I did:

1. Changed my diet:  I have blogged about my diet here, and have excluded all sugar, white flour, processed foods.  I’ve adopted a diet of mostly veggies, some chicken and beef.  Me no likey seafood.
2. Cleansing program:  I did Colonix for 30 days, with no real visible results, although I’m sure it helped me.
3. Nutritional Supplements:  I attribute at least 60% of my improvement so far to two nutritional aids – NT Factor and D-Ribose.  I’ve blogged about how these two supplements have been clinically proven to reduce chronic fatigue symptoms, by affecting mitochondria on the cellular level.  I can wholeheartedly attest to that truth.

I’m not the most disciplined person on the earth.  I still waver in my diet and eat crackers and pretzels and drink coffee – all naughties.  I don’t take my supplements religiously or even as often as directed.  While a 20 minute walk would be good for me on a daily basis, I usually save my energy for housecleaning (yes I’ve been cleaning my house!) or sexual delights with hubby.   I still can’t report that I sleep any better either.   It’s fair to say that my sleeping problems existed long before I was cfs weary.

And while I do engage in online marketing of various things (mostly toys), I’m not trying to sell you anything.  So freaking often on the net, when you read some blog that sounds promising, you get to the bottom to find that they’re just hawking some product.  I’m not -  I’m bound and determined simply to get the word out that improvement, feeling better exists.   Feel free to contact me.

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You’re invited to visit my newest sites:
Kung Fu Panda Toys
It’s a Merry Penguin Christmas
U.B. Funkeys Explained
Christmas Novelty Stringlights
Shrek the Third Toys and Games
Ratatouille Toys and Games
Best 2008 Calendars
Skull Gift Headquarters
Spiderwick Chronicles Movie Toys

The Holiday Season and Blog Related Injuries

It’s been a tough week for me.  Last Sunday, a whopping 7 days ago, I made dinner for my two brothers and my hubby.  But since my brothers were coming over, that meant I had to clean the house too.  Plus, the grocery shopping.  I was a whirlwind of activity and I paid for it big time.  My right arm started aching on Monday, by Tuesday, I couldn’t blog – what no blogging?  I’m sore from my shoulder to my fingers, I don’t know how I’ve survived.

I’m using NT Factor and D-ribose to try and overcome this outrageous muscle fatigue.  I don’t usually complain of Fibromyalgia as my primary symptom, mostly it’s fatigue.  But this week has been one long trial, with extra doses of Advil to eeek through the week.

Since I can’t work a real job, I did manage to create some new websites this week, even with my difficulty typing.  My new pages are all about the Holidays: 

Chocolate: The Greatest Food Gift

Spectacular Outdoor Christmas Lights

Amazon’s Million Dollar Necklace

Inflatable Christmas Decorations

I really feel like I’m working when I make these pages.  It’s a great forum for developing my sense of achievement and self-sufficiency when I’m stuck in a world where I can’t do much else.  In my struggle to overcome my chronic fatigue, I imagine it will take me until next June to start feeling better.  This illness brings with it such an uncommon sense of failure and hopelessness.  These sites help me feel more normal, like I’m living some portion of a real life, instead of feeling like a shut-in or invalid. 

It’s pretty rare to run across an article or web-site that discusses the psychological effects of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, it’s like we all have to work it out for ourselves.  I don’t like negative thoughts or negative moods, but when the fatigue is combined with nagging constant pain, life can be difficult.  My motto: Onward, Forward, To the Future.  I finally have hope and now I have something to keep myself busy, even though my blogging arm is killin’ me.