CFIDS: Considerations on Living Life HappyJanuary 29, 2010
It’s been awhile now that I lost my zombie status as a chronic fatigue syndrome girl. After having discovered the marvelous affects of a NT Factor supplement regimine, I’ve managed by the grace of God to get a good portion of my life back. Nothing short of a true miracle in my opinion. For so many years, I was virtually bedridden, now I’m able to attend church and bible study during the week, as well as venture out to teach people how to use their computer as a part-time side job. Moreover, these activities have been in addition to accomplishing the daily life tasks of showering, getting dressed, grocery shopping, making dinners, doing dishes, moderate housecleaning – all of which were entirely lost to me as a zombie.
My life isn’t sparkling perfect by any means. There is always that daily ‘cost factor’ that I still have to take into account. Any chronic fatigue person knows that if you do a task on any given day, the very next day is dedicated to rest. I still have that too if I’ve done something big. And I still can’t shower every day (I can hear you people say “ew!” but hey, it’s reality for CFIDS), I mean why waste that energy on something stupid like smelling wonderful when I can do something more important instead. There is still always an ‘energy-wallet’ to keep in account. Normal people know nothing of this, but chronic fatiguees know well that there is only so much daily energy to be had, and once it’s spent – forget it – can’t do another ding dang thing.
But I’ve finally accomplished enough energy to formulate some real life relationships and then have the energy still to maintain them. Actual social dates! Outside my house! Unheard of, in the past many years. The other thing that was lost to me during the zombie years was the ability to feel – I had no idea that emotions could suck up all my energy. Now I can actually feel emotions of happiness, having fun, and unfortunately being sad or upset. Huge energy expense there, and if I get too happy or too upset, just feeling emotion zaps my wallet completely. When I was a zombie, there wasn’t enough energy to feel anything at all.
Here’s the kicker – I’ve become so much closer to normal that I don’t even take NT Factor anymore. Haven’t taken any for months, and yet the results seem permanent from having taken the supplements for about a year’s time. Amazing. I’m no where near normal, as I keep saying, but I’m so very thankful that the improvements that I’ve made seem permanent. The clinical studies on NT Factor show only a portion of improvement for CFIDS patients – in other words, a cure wasn’t found. I still struggle, still can’t shop like ladies do, still can’t stand and talk, but I have a new life that I’m living with “happy” in the title.